


get myself back home

by spaceburgers



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Graduation, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-11
Updated: 2016-08-11
Packaged: 2018-08-08 03:58:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7742458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spaceburgers/pseuds/spaceburgers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s not like it’s completely unexpected. Koga always knew this day was coming.</p>
            </blockquote>





	get myself back home

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this fic for a friend and then ended up making myself emo instead
> 
> takes place after compensation/white day fes

It’s not like it’s completely unexpected. Koga always knew this day was coming—he’d known it from the start, though he’d never really given much thought to it in an actual tangible way. It was always just something faraway, something distant but inevitable, and yet.

And yet.

Graduation at Yumenosaki is a highly fanciful and overly complicated affair. Koga’s always thought that they should’ve just stuck to a regular high school graduation ceremony, the kind where they shove every single graduating third year into an auditorium and then make a boring speech about _having the rest of your lives ahead of you_ and _you can achieve anything you set your mind to_ , and then eventually releasing them into the wild and thrusting them into a world which they are woefully unprepared for, leaving their underclassmen behind to clean up their mess in their wake.

No, Koga isn’t bitter about graduation. Why on earth would he be bitter? He’s not even the one graduating. There’s nothing to be bitter about at all.

The graduation ceremony at Yumenosaki is a full day event; it begins in the morning with the regular ceremony, the one with all the boring speeches, and in the evening there’s a special concert with the graduating class performing, typically with the new units they’re planning on forming as they head into the entertainment industry, or otherwise going at it solo. The concert is one part final presentation, one part celebration, and one part not-so-subtle advertisement for prospective idol agencies. It’s a pretty big deal; it’s an open concert, so people from all over the city flock to Yumenosaki to watch. It’s meant to be a final send-off, a way for the third years to end off their high school years with a bang.

And in between those two events is a Yumenosaki tradition.

“It’s called the passing down event,” Adonis explains to Anzu, just a few days before graduation day. “The third years are meant to give gifts to their underclassmen, whether it’s from their units, or their clubs, or just second or first years they’ve grown close to in general. It’s meant to signify them passing on the torch to their underclassmen—apparently it’s a tradition that’s always been a part of the school.”

“I see,” Anzu says, smiling. “That’s a really nice custom. What kind of gifts do they tend to give out?”

“It’s supposed to be sentimental,” Adonis says. “But it could be anything, really. You’ll probably receive quite a lot of gifts, Anzu, since you’ve helped everyone out so much this past year.”

Anzu blushes, but she’s still grinning brightly.

“I’ll be looking forward to it,” she says. “What about you, Koga-kun?

Both Anzu and Adonis turn to him, but he doesn’t know what to say. He’s been absently picking at his guitar the whole time, sitting cross-legged on one of the tables in the classroom they’re using for practice. For some reason he doesn’t even have the energy to snap at her for the question.

So instead he just shrugs. “I don’t care either way,” he says, still looking down at his guitar. “It’s just a lame tradition.”

He doesn’t have to look up to know that Anzu and Adonis are exchanging looks. He scowls and strums at his guitar, probably a little more forcefully than strictly necessary.

“Oogami is upset that Sakuma-senpai is graduating,” Adonis says.

“Shut up!” Koga yells, immediately whipping his head up to fix Adonis with the full power of his glare. Adonis doesn’t even so much as blink. “Don’t go spouting shit like that to Anzu!”

“I’m sorry,” Adonis says, frowning. “I didn’t mean to be insensitive.”

“The hell? There’s nothing to be insensitive about here—”

“I’m sure Adonis-kun meant well,” Anzu interjects. Koga turns to glare at her too, but she looks so worried that his scowl immediately softens. He clicks his tongue and drops his gaze.

“Whatever,” he says. “Like I said, I don’t care.” Anzu looks like she’s about to say something else, so he quickly continues, “So are we going to practice or are we just going to sit here and talk about crap?”

“Of course,” Anzu says. “I should probably go.”

And now Koga feels bad for shouting at her. He keeps his eyes fixed to the floor as she leaves; when he hears the click of the door closing behind her he looks up to see Adonis giving him a look.

“I know,” he says, defeated. “You don’t have to tell me.”

“Maybe you should talk to Sakuma-senpai,” Adonis says.

“I fucking hate you,” he replies, but there’s no bite to his words at all.

Three days to graduation.

-

Technically, the third years are still required to come to school according to official student council rules, but they don’t have classes anymore, and they’re excused from all unit and club activities, so most of them don’t even bother turning up at all. Koga occasionally passes by some familiar faces in the hallway: the sticklers from the student council, of course, and he’s seen Kuro and Nazuna and Chiaki too, but he hasn’t seen Kaoru or Rei at all. Well, the former’s not particularly surprising (it’s not like that flirt was ever in school anyway, even at the start of the year), but—no, there’s no but. It’s none of his business what Rei chooses to do with his time now. They’re no longer official members of UNDEAD, after all. They can do whatever they damn well please.

Koga’s heard from Anzu that the two of them are doing their concert performance together. He wonders if they’re planning on becoming a duo after graduation. He tries not to think too hard about why exactly that thought pisses him off so much.

Still, there’s still plenty for the underclassmen to do, tests and club activities and unit practices and preparing for the next year. Koga’s been keeping himself busy now that he’s the de facto leader of both UNDEAD and the light music club, and it’s good. He enjoys the hard work. He spends time writing songs and practicing with his guitar, talks about UNDEAD’s future direction with Adonis and hangs out with the twins after school.

It’s two days to graduation, but he isn’t thinking about it. He’s spending his time in the light music room with Hinata and Yuta instead, and it’s helping him take his mind off things. It’s easy and peaceful like this, with the three of them focusing solely on the music they’re making, and none of them are thinking about anything else at all—

“Ah,” Hinata says suddenly, “I miss Sakuma-senpai.”

Koga’s hand slips, and his guitar pick clatters on the floor.

“Shit,” he says.

“Don’t be rude, Oogami-senpai,” Yuta says.

Koga scowls at him, and then sets his guitar down before bending down to look for his pick.

“Have you got your gift for Sakuma-senpai yet?” Hinata asks.

“No, not yet,” Yuta sighs. “I can’t decide what to get him.”

“Hold on,” Koga asks, straightening up to look at the twins. “I thought the point of the whole _passing on_ thing was for the third years to get _us_ stuff.”

“It’s _passing down_ , Oogami-senpai,” Hinata says.

“And it is, but we thought we wanted to give Sakuma-senpai something too. Just as a nice way of saying goodbye, you know?”

Koga’s chest is suddenly tight.

“Why bother? It’s not like he’s usually here anyway,” he mutters, bending down again to look for his missing guitar pick. He squints down at the floor, but it’s nowhere to be found. Did it get under the furniture? He presses himself to the floor to peer underneath his guitar amp; if the position allows himself to keep his face hidden from the twins, it’s entirely coincidental.

“Still,” Yuta says. “He’s always taken really good care of us.”

“He’s a good senpai,” Hinata agrees.

Koga doesn’t reply. Instead he reaches underneath the amp, feels around for this guitar pick, and eventually manages to grab it off the floor. When he finally manages to extract it it’s covered in a thin layer of dust. He sits up, blows at it, then wipes at it with his jacket for good measure. He holds it up, inspects it under the light streaming into the room from an open window. His autograph is scrawled messily onto it, a relic from his first year of high school, back when he’d first had to make up his signature and had absolutely no idea how to do it. Rei had taught him how to do it then, sat with him as Koga came up with autograph after autograph in various iterations of his name. When he’d finally come up with something he was satisfied with he’d scribbled it onto a new guitar pick, silver marker on a black base, and by now the ink is starting to fade a little but the words are still clear as ever.

“Do whatever you want,” he says at last. “I don’t really care.”

 _Two days_ , Koga thinks, and then doesn’t think about it at all.

-

It’s one day to graduation, and Koga finds himself on the rooftop of the school, lying down on one of the benches as he stares up at the sky. It’s a good day today, the kind of day where the sky is so blue it looks almost artificial. There’s a light breeze tickling at Koga’s hair, and it’s nice and comfortable. He thinks he could almost fall asleep like this, but his mind is racing with thoughts, and no matter how hard he tries he can’t seem to get his brain to shut up.

The first and second years still have classes and final exams, but tomorrow the third years will be gone. It shouldn’t feel any different since most of them don’t even turn up any longer, so it’s not like there’s going to be a sudden physical loss of their presence. It’s just—symbolic. It doesn’t really matter.

Still.

“Oh? If it isn’t the puppy!” someone calls.

Koga sits up and turns around, and but he doesn’t really need to. He’d recognize that voice any day.

“Hakaze,” he says. There’s a long pause before he remembers himself. “Senpai,” he adds, grudgingly.

Kaoru’s face comes into view; his hair’s tied up into a loose ponytail and his uniform is in even more of a mess than usual. Still, the obnoxious grin on his face is the same as always, and when Koga scowls at him it feels easy and natural, like they’re falling back into an old routine. And in some ways, that’s exactly what they’re doing right now.

“Now, now, there’s no need for that formality,” Kaoru says. Koga shifts to let Kaoru sit down on the bench next to him, and Kaoru turns to him and smiles. “I’m not going to be your senpai any longer tomorrow, after all.”

“Thank god,” Koga mutters.

“There’s no need for you to be rude either,” Kaoru says, wagging a finger at him. Koga scowls.

“What’re you doing back here?” Koga asks. “I haven’t seen your face in forever. I wouldn’t be surprised if you didn’t even turn up for your own graduation.”

“To visit Anzu-chan, of course,” Kaoru says. Koga rolls his eyes.

“ _Of course_ ,” he echoes.

“And my cute juniors too, I should say,” Kaoru adds. He ruffles Koga’s hair, and Koga bats his hand away with a huff. “Well, some of them are less cute than the others, though.”

“You’re disgusting,” Koga says.

“No, not cute at all,” Kaoru sighs.

They fall into a comfortable silence after that. Next to him, Kaoru stretches out, tilts his head back with his eyes closed as if he’s trying to soak up the sunlight.

“You know,” Kaoru says, after a brief pause. “The only reason I joined UNDEAD was because Sakuma-san told me it’d make me look cool to girls.”

Koga snorts. “I’m not surprised,” he says.

“But,” Kaoru continues, “as the year went by, it actually started being kind of fun, you know?”

Koga blinks and turns to Kaoru. Kaoru still keeps his head angled upwards, but his eyes are open now, and he’s smiling, almost wistfully.

“You and Adonis-kun and Sakuma-san,” he says. “We had some good times together, didn’t we?”

Koga doesn’t know what to say. He opens his mouth, and then shuts it again.

“Stop talking like that,” Koga says, finally. “You sound like an old man.”

Kaoru laughs. “Maybe I’ve been hanging out with Sakuma-san too much lately,” he replies. He shifts and turns to look at Koga, his expression suddenly serious.

“He really misses you, you know?”

“What?”

“He won’t shut up about you,” Kaoru says. “It’s getting a little annoying.”

Koga flushes and turns away.

“I don’t want to hear anything about that asshole,” he mutters.

“Something tells me you really do,” Kaoru says.

Koga keeps his face resolutely turned away.

“If he really wanted to talk to me that much,” Koga says, “he could at least show up in school.”

“We’ve all been busy,” Kaoru says. He rests a hand on Koga’s shoulder. “And Sakuma-san’s been dealing with things of his own too.”

Koga doesn’t have anything to say to that.

“Tomorrow,” Kaoru says, “try not to bite his head off, okay?”

“I won’t promise anything,” Koga mutters.

Kaoru sighs. “Well,” he says, standing up and dusting his pants off. “I tried.”

“What does _that_ mean?”

“It means,” Kaoru says, “that I occasionally do things to help out other guys too.”

Koga scowls. Kaoru pats his head.

“See you tomorrow, doggie,” Kaoru says. “I’ll get you a nice chew toy as a gift.”

And then before Koga can even formulate a response to that he’s off, leaving Koga behind to watch him go.

-

It is, by all intents and purposes, a perfectly normal day. Koga wakes up in the morning, feeds Leon, gets dressed, and then heads out the door on his way to school. He gets on the bus, listens to music on his iPod, then walks the five blocks between the nearest bus stop and the gates to Yumenosaki. He makes his way to the shoe lockers, says hi to the people he sees, and then takes the stairs to his classroom on the second floor of the building, just like how he’s done every single day for the past two days.

It is a perfectly normal day, but it is also anything but.

The third years don’t have to get to school until later, and the underclassmen have regular classes during the first part of the graduation ceremony so Koga won’t get to see them at all. Not until after school, when the third years have free time to roam around until they have to get ready for the concert in the evening.

Koga isn’t thinking about it. He is definitely not thinking about it at all.

He isn’t thinking about it during his classes. He isn’t thinking about it when he works with Anzu on her producer course. He isn’t thinking about it when the final bell rings, and he isn’t thinking about just giving up and going home and pretending nothing’s bothering him at all.

Instead he heads to the light music room, and is surprised to find that it’s empty. The twins must be elsewhere, probably busy looking for Rei. The emptiness of the room is making Koga feel antsy, so he gets his guitar out and starts tuning it idly. Might as well as do something productive if he’s going to be here alone, he thinks. He strums at the strings, the pressure of it against his fingers as easy and natural as breathing by now. It’s the single constant in his life, and he’s grateful for it; he’s not thinking at all as he lets his fingers move on their own accord, more muscle memory than anything by this point. He just lets his mind go blank, focuses solely on the music that’s surrounding him, the weight of the guitar against his arm and the movement of his hands against the strings.

“A certain pair of twins told me I would find you here,” someone says.

Koga freezes.

He doesn’t turn around. He doesn’t have to.

“Sakuma-senpai,” he says.

“Koga.”

The sound of his name being called in that voice—it still sounds strange and unnatural to him. Though it wasn’t always this way.

“I haven’t seen you since the white day festival,” Rei says.

“Yeah?” Koga replies, not even bothering to hide the bitterness in his voice. He’s still resolutely not looking at Rei, who’s still standing in the doorway behind him. It feels like they’re frozen into place, neither of them even daring to move. “Has it really been that long?”

“Koga,” Rei says again. “I’m sorry.”

“Fuck you,” Koga spits. “You don’t get to do that.”

A long silence stretches out between the both of them. Koga realizes he’s been clutching onto his guitar, so hard that his knuckles are turning white. He lets go, rests his hands flat against his knees instead.

“Perhaps I shouldn’t be saying this as your senior,” Rei says. “There’s still a level of respect to be maintained after all—but then again, from today onwards it won’t matter anymore, will it?”

“Just get to the point already,” Koga snaps.

There’s a long pause, and then:

“I’m sorry for letting you down,” Rei says at last, and whatever it is that Koga was expecting—it definitely wasn’t _this_.

“What?”

“I haven’t been the senior you’ve wanted me to be,” he continues.

“You—”

“I’m not the same person I was a year ago, and I don’t think I will ever be again.”

Another long pause. Koga clenches and unclenches his fists. His guitar’s still in his lap. He sets it down, gently, on the table next to him, even though his hands are shaking. Why are they shaking? He counts his breaths, feels the air in his lungs, one, two, in, out—

“I haven’t fulfilled my duty as a senior properly,” Rei finishes. “I’m sorry.”

 _Screw this_ , Koga thinks.

He turns around, finally, and Rei is still standing in the doorway, dressed neatly in his uniform with that stupid sweater underneath the official jacket, just as how he’s always looked as a student in this school, and it occurs to Koga, all of a sudden, that it’s going to be last time he’ll ever see Rei in that uniform, and Koga’s throat is dry, why is it dry?

“Do you really think I give a fuck about all that?” Koga says. His voice cracks, and he winces, but he soldiers on anyway.

“Koga—”

“No, seriously. Do you really think I care? That I would’ve said all that and done all that for white day if I did? Fuck, I didn’t know your old man gig extended to acting senile too.”

Rei just stands there, silent. Koga takes a deep breath, and then steps forward.

“What gift did the twins gets you?” he asks suddenly, his voice quiet. Rei’s eyes are fixed on him, his gaze intense as he watches Koga walk towards him. Koga is suddenly nervous; he can feel his heart, pounding out an unsteady rhythm in his chest. He ignores it, keeps his face as impassive as possible.

“Flowers,” Rei says. He shifts, unbuckles his bag and shows Koga. Sure enough there’s a single sunflower stalk there, nestled neatly against his graduation scroll. There’s a ribbon tied around the stem, and a little tag attached to it. He tears his gaze from it, looks back up at Rei’s face.

“Here,” Koga says. He reaches into his pocket, fishes something out, and flicks it at Rei. Rei’s eyes widen, but he catches it anyway, his free hand curling around it to form a fist.

“Go on,” Koga says.

Rei looks at him, then looks down at his clenched fist. Slowly, he unfurls it to reveal Koga’s guitar pick resting neatly in the palm of his hand. Koga’s autograph is clear as ever on the front. Rei picks it up with his other hand, turns it around to examine the back where the date is neatly inscribed, the ink fresher and brighter than the signature on the front.

“This is…”

“For you.” Koga turns away so he doesn’t have to look at the awestruck expression on Rei’s face. He can’t look him, not now, not like this. “To remember.”

Rei remains silent.

“It’s old. It’s a thing of the past,” Koga continues. “I’m giving it to you, but you don’t even play the guitar. It’s not going to be used anymore. But that’s okay.” He pauses, his face suddenly hot. “It doesn’t have to be. It’s fine as it is.”

For a long moment, neither of them says anything. Koga still has his face turned away. His cheeks are flushed; he must look like an idiot right now. Part of him wants to just dig a hole in the ground and never come out ever again, but then—

“That’s not fair,” Rei says, finally. “I’m supposed to be the one who’s meant to give you something, am I not? Surely you’re upsetting an ancient tradition by doing this.”

Koga snorts.

“It’s hardly ancient,” he says. “Besides, the twins gave me the idea. And I’m pretty sure Anzu’s going around giving stuff to everyone too, isn’t she?”

“Such an unruly puppy,” Rei sighs, but when Koga turns to look at him again he’s smiling. He’s still holding up the guitar pick, turning it over and over again in his hand to examine it. The look of absolute wonder on his face hasn't dissipated at all.

“Vampire bastard,” Koga mutters.

“I have something for you too,” Rei says. He sets his bag down, fiddles with the buttons on his jacket, and before Koga realizes what he’s doing he’s detached the second button of his blazer in one smooth motion.

“Well,” Rei continues. “It’s not quite accurate since it’s not a gakuran, but I suppose this will have to do. Do young people still do this? Perhaps I should've asked beforehand.”

Koga stares at Rei for a beat too long, and when it finally hits him, his face rapidly turns a very startling shade a red. If he thought his face was hot before it’s nothing compared to this—it’s practically _burning_ now, and Koga has nowhere to hide.

“Don’t screw with me,” Koga says, weakly.

“I hope my meaning is clear,” Rei says, “and that there’s no room for misunderstanding.”

“You can’t be serious.”

“I am perfectly serious.” Rei takes Koga’s hand in his, turns it over so his palm is facing upwards, and with his other hand he places his button in it, pressing his hand against Koga’s like a protective covering. Koga’s skin tingles where it comes into contact with Rei’s; his hand is surprisingly warm.

“If you don’t want it you don’t have to take it,” Rei says.

“Fuck you,” Koga says. “I’m keeping it, you bastard.”

Rei smiles.

“Thank you, Koga,” he says. “You’ve made me very happy.”

Koga breathing feels uneven, like there’s a strange pressure on his chest that’s stopping him from inhaling properly.

“Whatever,” he says. “It’s just a stupid button.”

It’s not just the button, though. He knows it. And Rei knows it too.

“Will you come watch us perform tonight?” Rei asks.

He’s stepped closer without Koga even realizing it; they’re face-to-face now, close enough that Koga has to tilt his head upwards to look at Rei properly.

“Yeah,” Koga says. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

Rei’s fingers brush against the side of Koga’s face. Koga closes his eyes.

He thinks, for the first time in a while, that maybe everything’s going to turn out okay after all.

**Author's Note:**

> [on giving away your second button](http://japaneseatdrake.edublogs.org/2009/04/05/%E5%8D%92%E6%A5%AD%E5%BC%8F%EF%BC%88graduation%E7%AC%AC%E4%BA%8C%E3%83%9C%E3%82%BF%E3%83%B3second-button/)


End file.
